The Non-Canon Awards: Out of this World Contest
Title: Over the Rainbow
Rating: 18+ years and over
Genre: Crossover – True Blood / SVM with Doctor Who
Word Count: 4049
Pairing: 10th Doctor / Sookie / Beehl
Summary: A crossover of TB/SVM with Doctor Who. Sookie is busy running off into the woods in the middle of the night (*sigh*) but at least this time she is running away from Bill, only to run straight into a maenad, or rather an alien creature masquerading as a maenad. The Tenth Doctor materialises in his TARDIS who has taken pity upon Sookie and is determined to show her the truth about Bill, who rushes on board the TARDIS just in time as Sookie tearfully tells him they can go back to his human time and stop him being turned… Only thing is, the TARDIS doesn’t take them back to Civil War era Bon Temps as expected. So who exactly is Bill Compton anyway and what is he hiding?
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters, whether they are from TB/SVM or Doctor Who and make no money from them. I merely love playing with them for my own amusement and that of the fans who love them so much 🙂
Over the Rainbow
Stupid fucking Bill – expecting her to get back in the damn car. Well he could go find a fucking cliff and jump right off it as far as she was concerned. Of course she took Jessica to see her family – she hadn’t meant for it to get so out of hand but damn it – where was his compassion? The girl had lost everything, been turned by force because of some weird- as- fuck vampire justice to pay for Bill’s staking of Longshadow to save her life – her life! She owed Jessica at least the chance to say good bye and sure maybe she hadn’t quite thought it through, but Bill didn’t have to be such a damn ass about it.
Pfft. Like she was ever getting back in that damn car.
Sookie stuck her chin out as she squared her shoulders. She’d walk the ten miles home herself – sure, it was through the dark woods, but so what? She was a Southern country girl – a little darkness and some scrub didn’t scare her –
Something rustled beside her on the path. Heavy breathing snorted beside her and she began to pick up her pace. Not going back to Bill, not going back to Bill – Footfalls echoed behind her and she tried to run faster, her breath caught in her throat, her lungs burned as she felt branches and twigs rip at her clothing, the uneven ground making it hard to run faster, her heart pounding against her ribs with fear and exertion .-
Then a wind blew up on what had been a still and balmy night, a wind that whipped her hair into her face and flattened all the tree branches that tried to reach out and grab her away from her body. A whirring, scraping sound that reminded her of Jason’s fingernails on a chalkboard – he thought he was so damned funny – filled the lonely path through the woods. Something flickered in front of her, then faded out, before flickering and reappearing – a blue box that said ‘Police’, but it didn’t look like anything she’d seen before.
A yellow light shone out as the door opened, the silhouette of a tall man appearing, and Sookie took a step back before her stubbornness kicked in – how dare this blue box appear out of nowhere, cutting off her path and scaring the bejesus out of her? She hoped it really was the Police so she could complain to the officer in charge – she was in just the mood to tear strips off someone.
Her face filled with belligerence, Sookie stepped forward, hands on hips.
“Who the hell are you?” she demanded.
“I could say the same of you. This certainly isn’t Barcelona – where has the old girl taken me this time?”
“Are you the ranking officer here, because if you are, I’d like to make a complaint.”
“Oh would you now?”
“Yes, and -”
Sookie’s tirade was cut off by the sound of something snorting and pawing the ground with its hooves.
“Oooh, a maenad! I haven’t seen one of them in years! I thought you were all extinct – oh, and out on the hunt I see, all dressed up in your minotaur form – oh yes, very scary. Were you chasing her? Are you sure you even want to? Tongue like a viper, that one.”
He pulled out a small device lit with a blue glow that made a whirring sound.
“There we go – off into the Void with you!”
There was a flicker and the minotaur disappeared.
“What the -”
“Thank you? Oh, no worries, now that you mention it, I always just happen to materialise anywhere and rescue ungrateful women from rampaging alien beasts. I’m the Doctor. And who might you be?”
Sookie looked properly at him in the dim light spilling from the open door of the blue box. He wore a brown pinstriped suit and had sideburns like Bill, but somehow they suited him a whole lot better, His brown eyes were liquid and she felt herself being drawn into them, drawn to the ship –
“Oh hello,” he said, staring at the metallic object in his hands. “Psychic creature are you? No wonder – the old girl must have tapped into your distress signal and here I am come to rescue you – she always did have a soft spot for damsels in distress – even annoying ones.”
“Who are you talking about?”
“My ship – the TARDIS. For some reason I quite frankly can’t fathom, she’s taken a liking to you. Name?”
“What kind of name is that? What is a Sookie?”
“What kind of name is the Doctor?”
“Haha – that’s a good one. Well, now you’re here, would you like to go on a little trip -”
The Doctor raised his sonic screwdriver and it made a sick, half-dying sound as though its batteries were running out.
“You know, you really should lay off the vampire blood – it’s really messing with your head -”
“What? How did you -”
“Come on – come for a little jaunt with me – you’ll feel a lot better – what do you say?”
“But my boyfriend – he’s back in the car there and really I should go home -”
“Oh you mean that vampire – the one that’s tapping his foot impatiently waiting for you to come crawling back to him?”
“On second thoughts, let’s go.”
“Thought that might change your mind.”
He stepped back into his ship and Sookie followed, running back out the moment after she stepped inside, running around behind the back of the box before running back in again.
“It’s bigger on the inside!”
“So it is – hadn’t noticed really…, kind of get used to it after a while – ”
“Oh it’s simple trans-dimensional astrophysics, really. The outer hull is made of living metal – don’t be fooled by the wood – and it exists in a different dimension to the interior and -” Sookie’s eyes glazed over, so the Doctor stopped. “But yes, you’re right – it’s bigger on the inside, and that’s all that counts.”
“What are you?”
“Timelord. Alien from Gallifrey who can travel in time and space. Now tell me, Sookie Stackhouse, where would you like to go?”
With a glazed look in her eyes Sookie just stood there for a few moments, running the events of the evening over in her mind, trying to figure out exactly how she had ended up where she was and why she was even contemplating going somewhere with this stranger. Something strange but utterly right was happening as she stood just inside the door though. Her mind was becoming clearer, clearer than it had been in months. In fact, come to think of it, it was clearer than it had been since Bill came into her life.
Suddenly the TARDIS started whirring and groaning just as there was a pounding on the door. There was an almost human sounding groan as the whirring stopped and the Doctor opened the door.
The Doctor snorted when he saw who was on the other side of the door, “Bill Compton? I haven’t seen you in centuries.”
“What? What are you talking about and just who the hell are you?” For being a vampire Bill Compton sure hadn’t mastered the fine art of looking nonchalant. About anything. Sookie turned around and slightly to the side so she could see Bill and she giggled. He looked like a kid who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Guilty.
She heard a strange, almost human sounding whispering, “What?” Sookie said even though neither the Doctor nor Bill had said anything to her. “I didn’t catch what you said. Could you repeat it please?”
The Doctor looked back at her with a secretive smile and stepped back. “Sookeh is mine!” Bill growled as he rushed through the door and grabbed Sookie’s arm.
She smiled at him. “Are we going to have this argument again? I have told you repeatedly that I belong to me. Slavery was abolished way back in 1865. You should know, you were a soldier in the Civil War,” as she not so gently shoved him and removed her arm from his grasp.
“Really? Is that what he told you?” The Doctor raised an eyebrow quizzically. “Nice accent, by the way. Very subtle.”
Bill grinned in that nasty way he had, ignoring the Doctor completely. “Of course it was dahling,” he said in his oiliest, most placating tone. Sookie grimaced; she felt like she needed to take a long, very hot shower with a sandpaper loofah to wash the slithery feel of his words from her skin.
Sookie felt that odd, bubbly feeling which she hadn’t felt since that first night… ”Bill Compton,” she said angrily, “You can stop that right now! I can’t be glamoured and you know it so stop! Just stop!”
The Doctor seemed to fade into the background, although he was still quite visible if they only thought to look for him, just as the whirring and groaning started up again. Bill jerked this way and that, turning to try to find the being who was controlling the thing when a buried memory suddenly surfaced. “NO! NO! Not again!” he cried as he ran for the door.
“Not again? What are you talking about Bill? Have you and the Doctor met before?”
“Unfortunately,” both Bill and the Doctor said at the same time.
“What?” demanded Sookie. “Someone better start telling me what’s going on -”
“Are you going to tell her?” the Doctor demanded, something implacable and frightening appearing behind his eyes that made Sookie shiver.
Bill’s face turned ashen grey. “No,” he sputtered. “You wouldn’t -”
“Why don’t we go back there, hey Billy-boy, back to the Civil War era you’re so fond of, the glorious dead and all that – shame you’re not one of them, not really, are you now -”
A light gleamed in Sookie’s eyes as she turned to face Bill, her hand resting on his shoulder.
“It’s a time machine – this -” she gestured to the space around them – “ship. He can take you back – back to before you were turned. Bill, don’t you see – he can save you! You could be human again, and we could be together -”
“What a lovely fairy tale, if you like that sort of thing. Sickening stuff, I always thought. And are you sure you really want that as your Prince Charming?” The Doctor gestured towards Bill. “This ship of mine – the TARDIS – she remembers you, Bill. She’s taken us back – shall we open those doors and see what’s out there?”
“No!” Bill threw himself in front of the door. “No – Sookeh, please – if you ever loved me, please, don’t open that door!”
“Bill, get the fuck out of my way! I thought you’d be happy,” she hissed. “What the hell does he have on you? What did you do?”
“Sookeh -” Sookie looked from Bill’s monkey face with the pleading eyes to the Doctor’s stern, implacable one. Funny, she’d never noticed how Bill’s sideburns were kind of tatty and unkempt, and how he kept scratching at them like he had nits or fleas or cooties or something. She thought of running her hands through them and shivered in disgust.
“I’m going out there, Bill. Get out of my way.”
“You heard her – let her pass.”
“Let me go out there first – I can explain -”
“No you can’t,” said the Doctor. “You really can’t. I’m not risking you meeting yourself – paradoxes and temporal anomalies and all that. Besides, being around one of you is more than I can stand – add another and I might just materialise the TARDIS inside the nearest collapsing star and throw you out. Hmm, maybe I’ll let Sookie do that after she sees – Never mind – spoilers, as my friend River Song would say.”
“I’m not staying in here! You can’t keep me as a prisoner!”
“Oh but I can.” The Doctor pressed a button on the TARDIS console and Sookie thought she heard an echoing laugh of cackling glee as a prison of criss-crossed ultraviolet light descended, covering Bill from head to toe. “Oh and mind your step, Bill – try crossing through that and you’ll be toast. Pure daylight, that is – and I would so hate for you to catch on fire.”
Sookie stared at him, part of her brain shouting at her that she should be angry, that she should be screaming at him, that she should be stamping her foot and demanding the Doctor set her beloved Bill free. She could feel something pulling on her mind, willing her to do it, to act the lovesick fool and make demands – she felt light-headed and stumbled, putting her hand out to rest flat on the TARDIS console, and like a wave of nausea, the urge passed.
The Doctor turned to Sookie, taking her by the hand. “Better?” he asked her. She nodded, realising he was right. She really was better. She stepped away from the console, turning to face Bill with his puckered cat’s ass mouth – how had she never noticed that before?
“Goodbye Bill,” Sookie said with a giggle as The Dixie Chicks’s Good-Bye Earl started playing in her mind and that weird echoing laughter followed her as she stepped out through the TARDIS’s door, still holding the Doctor’s hand.
They were not where Sookie expected them to be by any stretch of the imagination. They seemed to be in a bustling city. As she looked around, Sookie recognized some of the landmarks from her history books. “Are…are we in Washington, DC?” she asked, sounding more than a little awed by the prospect.
The Doctor took out that weird glowing thingy and waved it around, almost haphazardly, “That appears to be the case, Sookie, and judging by the clothing I would say some time in the 1860’s.”
Sookie looked around a little more carefully and noticed that nobody was dressed like she was used to. The women all wore long dresses which nearly dragged the ground, not the short skirts, sundresses and pants she was used to, and the men all seemed to be wearing fitted pants, coats and top hats if they weren’t wearing some sort of military uniform and carrying some sort of gun or sabre.
She started to feel self-conscious when she realized she wasn’t dressed anywhere near how the women of the time were dressed and tried to hide behind the Doctor in the hopes that nobody would notice her and wonder about her. She extended her telepathy, having not paid attention to it while she worked to figure out where and when they were. What she heard surprised her. So pretty, so dapper, look good together. I wonder if they are worth knowing, if they can get me into the White House. She also heard plenty of staticy brains, and she even managed to find more than a few vampire brains among all the mental chaos; one of those vampire brains felt quite familiar.
Sookie turned until she was facing the direction of that familiar void and found one William Thomas Compton with a very pretty brunette vampire. She tried to let go of The Doctor’s hand to go to Bill but he held tight and explained, “He doesn’t know you in this place and time. Remember, what I said about spoilers?” Sookie nodded absent mindedly as she watched Bill talking and smiling at the vampire he was with. Even his touch seemed quite familiar with the woman, almost lover- like. The Doctor turned Sookie to face him, bringing her attention from William Compton and back to himself. “You can’t interfere in history, Sookie. It could change the future. You can’t interact with anyone you may know or historical figures. The risks are just too great.”
“What are we doing here then, if we can’t talk to anybody?” She was bitterly disappointed. She had played that game where you imagined what you would say to a historical figure if you could invite them to dinner: she had always dreamed of having dinner with Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson and Harriet Tubman so she could find out how it really was back during the Civil War era. She wanted to know how anyone could think slavery was a good thing. She wanted to know what Mr. Lincoln would have done differently if he knew a war could have been avoided. She wanted to know about the Underground Railroad and how Ms. Tubman managed to help so many slaves escape. There was much Sookie wanted to know and here she was, in the time when those people actually lived, and she couldn’t do a damn thing about it!
The Doctor shrugged, “The old girl takes me where I am needed and where my companions wish to be although your guess is as good as mine as to why we’re here in this time and place.”
Sookie huffed, “That is soooooooooooooo not an answer! I thought you knew Bill -”
“I do , but not from here.”
The Doctor shrugged and grinned a little as he put her hand in the crook of his elbow and led her slowly along the street, allowing her to gawk and sight see as he led them slowly towards Bill Compton. Fortunately, there was a milliners right by where Bill was standing.
“Pretend you’re looking at hats,” the Doctor whispered to her. Sookie nodded, her bottom lip poking out.
The pretty brunette vampire slipped a note into Bill’s pocket, pretending to smile and simper before curtseying in his direction and heading down the street. Sookie craned her neck slightly to the side, trying to catch a glimpse of the note that Bill instantly took out of his pocket, ripped open, and began to read. Sookie leaned out a little further, on her tippy-toes, trying to see what was on that damned paper – but it made no sense – some kind of code? Bill stuffed the note back into his pocket, turning sharply and causing Sookie to tumble in his direction.
“Slattern!” Bill hissed. “Watch where you are going -”
Sookie looked directly in his eyes, her mouth popping open as Bill deliberately inhaled her scent, mouth open, nostrils wide –
“Forgive my friend,” the Doctor intervened. “We’ve just had terrible news from the front. Her husband is dead -”
“Oh, uh, my apologies. Best keep your women-folk under control, sir, especially one so inclined to emotional outbursts.”
“Oh I try, but this one sorely tests my patience, I am afraid.”
“You have my commiserations. My own wife is with child and it has addled her brain completely -”
Sookie’s mouth dropped open. Caroline? But Bill was –
Bill was vampire. So who the hell knocked Caroline up if Bill didn’t? Or – her mind started searching around for answers – maybe she got pregnant before he was turned. Maybe this was just after he was turned –
Nothing added up. What the hell was going on?
She had to be sure – she reached out her hand to touch Bill on the arm, to try and get a reading of him –
Void. Big fat fucking void.
“Sir!” Bill demanded, speaking not to Sookie but again to the Doctor. “Get this woman under control or I shall have to call the Constabulary -”
“Oh that won’t be necessary -” the Doctor began.
“Hey!” shouted Sookie, unable to contain her rage any more. “I’m here – hello!” She waved her hand in front of Bill’s face. The Doctor caught her hand neatly and shook his head at her.
“Just who do you think you are?” Bill demanded. “You should horse-whip her to keep her in line, or else have that shrewish tongue cut out!”
The Doctor waved a piece of paper in front of Bill’s face, a paper Sookie could see perfectly well was blank. Bill, however, looked impressed. His indignation and rage were replaced by smarmy ass-licking as his bloated, purple lips turned up in the semblance of a smile. Sookie shuddered, noting that his sideburns were much thicker and longer in this era, flared at the bottom and extending all the way down to his chin in a style she believed was called a ‘mutton chop’.
“God save the Queen,” Bill said to the Doctor.
“Long may she reign,” the Doctor replied automatically.
“So, Lord High Admiral – I must say I am surprised you are here yourself – shouldn’t you send in one of your troops? But of course – you wish to see with your own eyes the wonderful work we are doing here to ensure the British Empire is triumphant -”
What? What the fuck?
All trace of Bill’s southern drawl had vanished, replaced by a British accent similar to the Doctor’s own. Why the hell did an alien from Gallifrey sound like a Brit anyway?
“Oh yes indeed,” the Doctor continued, following Bill’s lead. “What exactly am I inspecting again?”
“Our plans to sabotage the war effort in the north, of course,” Bill supplied. “Cotton is king – we need the South and its slaves to continue producing it for our mills, and of course we need the industrial complex of the north to be destroyed -”
“We?” the Doctor questioned. Bill shot him a quizzical look.
“Why, Torchwood of course.”
“Oh yes, of course. Long may the British Empire reign supreme.”
“Would you accompany me to supper for a bite to eat?” Bill suggested. “You could bring your lovely -” Bill stared at Sookie’s boobs, leaving no doubt as to what he thought was ‘lovely’ about her.
“Uh, niece,” the Doctor supplied. “But no – thank you. We have already eaten. Must hurry along now – keep up the good work. I’m sure our paths will cross again.”
Bill nodded, tipping his hat towards the Doctor. “As you wish.”
The Doctor grabbed Sookie by the elbow, hurriedly propelling her towards the TARDIS.
“Ouch!” Sookie said, rubbing her arm.
“You nearly blew our cover -”
“What is Torchwood? And why did Bill think that blank paper you showed him said something about it -”
“Psychic paper. Tells you whatever you want to see. Your vampire Bill works for Torchwood, an institute set up by Queen Victoria to expand and protect the British Empire -”
“You’re saying Bill is a British spy?” Sookie gasped. “I don’t believe it – this is all wrong! There’s been some kind of a mix up – he wouldn’t – he couldn’t – he is a Southerner just like me! And why is he a vampire already? It doesn’t make sense – this isn’t the story he told me -”
“And there you have it – the story he told you, because it was just that – a story. Stop being so naive – and look, I think it’s worse than just being a British spy. The TARDIS sent us here for a reason, and I am determined to find out what it is!”
Still protesting Bill’s innocence loudly and at the top of her voice, the Doctor stuck his fingers in his ears and started wondering if this small but very loud blonde was in fact necessary to his mission and whether or not he could take her back to that path in the woods and just leave her there – Maybe even bring the maenad back…
Pushing open the TARDIS doors with relief, he enjoyed the millisecond of silence before Sookie slammed the doors open, walked up to Bill in his prison of light and slapped him hard across the face.
“That’s for lying to me!” she shrieked.
The Doctor ignored them both, pressing as many buttons and levers as he could to get his beloved TARDIS wheezing and groaning again to drown out the sound of the shouting.